Cindy Crawford's mom ass needs to sit on my face

I never thought for a second, that all these years later, I'd still be wanting to stroke the monkey to Cindy Crawford. Look at those legs and ass. You just want to be in it/them.

Lindsay Lohan doesn't do it for me

So Lindsay Lohan? Why ridicule someone who is trying to live their life? It's horrible these kids can't even go out and have fun on a beach filled with rocks without someone taking pictures of their ass. How bad for us.

Kellie Pickler's ass is on fire

Let me get this straight. See that ass on the beautiful Kellie Pickler up there? Well, it turns out Kid Rock is tapping that. Yes, you read that correctly. So this guy bangs Pam Anderson (an upskt.com icon, if there ever was one), and now the virginistic Kellie? This is almost as shocking and sad as the death of Michael. Long live Michael, a truly beautiful person.

Mariah Carey's ass is still hot

MC used to be my number one gal to jack to. But to be honest, it's been awhile. Ever since she got married, things just haven't been the same. I thought she let herself go, but looking at these pictures, there's still gas in her tank, junk in her trunk, and my balls are blue.

Hayden Panettiere upskirt

She is attractive because she's on TV. How come we ridicule great, and generous people like Michael Jackson who contribute so much to the world, but we worship these blond girls who walk around flashing their twats everywhere?

Lindsay Lohan's panties

Wow, what's more surprising - a Lindsay Lohan upskirt, or that she's actually wearing panties?

Denise Richards' ass is edible

If this were another cougar, I wouldn't ever dare touch it. But just knowing it's Denise Richards' ass makes it okay to jack to it, even if it is a bit "mom-like" in these pictures. What is it about you Denise?

Cameron Diaz's upskirt

So Cameron Diaz is all over the TV these days, pretty much hitting every single talk show she can wrap those long legs around. I'm not sure if she has a movie cumming out or something. But who cares! If you look at that first picture you can see up her skirt. What else matters?

Britney's backside

Honestly, are any of these Britney pictures worth jacking to? You be the judge.

Jennifer Love Hewitt in panties

I'm only posting this for one special UPSKT fan out there. You know who you are! Today is a day to celebrate the life of, and mourn the death of Michael Jackson. Today is not a day to jack off.